It is the most hardest thing to explain and also the worst feeling to feel as a human being. Hurting the people we love. Be it family, friends or lovers.
It is somehow an act that occurs unwillingly and unnoticed until the damage is done. We somehow know how certain events will end in our head. Sometimes an inner voice says stop, or things will get worse. Sometimes the inner voice tells you exactly what you shouldn't do but you never listen. There exists an urging pang inside of us to take the lunge. Then we realise only when its too late.
Often after we hurt the people we love we regret it. We regret saying things we shouldn't of said, we regret picking fights, sometimes we regret even starting a conversation but the worst part is we feel unworthy of them. Unworthy to be loved.
Love is patient, Love is kind they say. It is us humans who take the patience and kind away.
The reason why we hurt the people we love most is because of two things:
1) We care too much
2) We are afraid.
Caring for a person exists as an effortless act to protect and shelter those we love. To always make sure they learn to care for themselves too. But caring too much leads to increased levels of expectations, it leads to anxiety that we try to rid ourselves of. It causes a painful ongoing feeling of having to wait for something that might or might not happen. Then we can only hope.
We are afraid. We are afraid of losing the people we hold close to our hearts and so we go out of our way to prove how much they mean to us. In the process we become possessive, paranoid with over excessive thinking and we get hurt. All in the name of Love.
So why is it that this world is comprised of those who hurt and get hurt? I think it works both ways. To hurt someone means you have been hurt before. Its a cycle.
This post is dedicated to all of you who have hurt the people you love most and who are still working on how to establish a good relationship among family, friends or lovers.
Its funny how there is no good in this world without having evil. Its even funnier how there is no happiness without sadness. Maybe its called balance. You tell me.