Useless Mouth

This world is encompassed by human beings,
Who see defeat as weakness,
And mistakes as something they never commit.

This world has become a harsh and violent battlefield,
Where pride and money become toys for addicts.

This world has become nothing more than a barren land,
Of dirt waiting to be filled with dead corpses.

This world will only be an object for those,
To chant wars and wait for armed responses.

But today,
This world deserves more,
Than your useless mouth and tattered acts of throwing rocks.

xo
Mavinia

Continue Reading

I Want To Grow & I Don’t Want To Stop

391626_405500302854609_1469694005_n.jpg
When I was young I remember constantly trying to be the best I could. When my Dad asked if I was tired or if I needed rest, I always said no. I didn’t want him to feel like I gave up. Even if its nothing like that at all. I guess its how I was raised, to shun out any negative word that might drown me of my own capability.

At the age of nine I started getting serious on sports. I attended Badminton coaching and intense training. I became good at Badminton, but I always thought I was never good enough. I represented my school and it was a good experience of winning and losing. Oh, after starting Badminton I stopped playing the organ at Grade 6 and took up Taekwondo till I got my blue belt and eventually stopped too due to priorities on academics. It was hard to set my mind to focus completely on a single thing and to let the whole universe conspire to help me achieve it. I was afraid I couldn’t be good at other things.

In the midst of my Badminton training etc. I became a runner too. Long distance was my thing. It always has. Again, I felt I was good but not good enough. I remember training side by side beside my Dad late in the evening and timing myself. I remember the tracks and the paths i took to test my endurance. I believed I wanted to be Daddy’s Girl. To run just like he did during his younger days.

I have driven and shaped myself so much to this day that I am constantly on the move. Honestly, I believe taking naps are a waste of time, I believe that rest is something that only people who are super exhausted deserve. I believe I don’t deserve rest. I am in a constant loophole of trying to figure out all the possible things that I can and should be doing to improve myself. I want to grow and I don't want to stop.

Today I realise why I always thought I was never good enough for Badminton, playing the organ, Taekwondo or Running. Its because I believe, I and we are all talented enough to master many things instead of just one. Honestly I still don't know what I'm really good at and I'm still discovering myself. Experience matters the most doesn't it?

"You can be good at one thing and one thing only,
but you can also be good at many things" 🙂

Continue Reading

How The Rain Gave Me A Second Chance

It was lately that i let myself shatter into bits and pieces. Like how you let glass drop effortlessly on the ground. That was the state I was left in. Broken.

It was that evening I felt nothing but the warmth of the air surrounding me like a bubble. Caught only in its wrath. But just for a moment only, till the ground showered with snow like chills from the clouds. Rain.

It was also the other time I watched birds fly away from a tree. I pictured myself rid of freedom, memories and thoughts. My brain didn't let me though. The heart was its bodyguard that day. It still is. Mind.

It was never in my dreams to have come this far. To have stayed a little girl would be much better. But the cycle will never end. It will never stop either. By choice or by wants and needs. Never.

It was yesterday I grasped a tug of grass from the lands you cropped. Bountiful, but now empty. Like a void in space only decorated with tiny specks of stars visible a million miles away. Gone.

It was also the day before, that I escaped prison. The one where I was caged in a forbidden entry of delusion and hope. Now its me, my books and good sleep. Finally.

It was also a few hours ago, I felt that fuzzy feeling again. Moments when heat suddenly rushes across your face. Nothing explainable, only felt. First.

It is now, that I am feeling this unacceptable overwhelming emotion of some sorts. Its something about the smell of rain. It always is isn't it? The ability to recalculate every decision, every choice made. Finally, a second chance to be me.

xo
Mavinia

 

Continue Reading

The Garden Before The Wall

 

I have tried a thousand times to be better at this.
I keep telling myself, you can do it.
I guess that is what everyone tells themselves.

I have travelled to places that only exist when my eyes are shut.
I guess we all travel to those places too.
Maybe we are all the same after all.

I was tired of putting things together.
They kept falling into space.
Like puzzles waiting to be glued in place, sometimes a bit of a disgrace.

I found out that I could be really good at something.
I found out I could really be bad at something too.
Fate or Choice? You tell me.

I then imagined a different future.
For this land that we shape to fit our lives.
But then mankind became a thief of kindness, patience and everything divine.

I was once a kid. I still wish I was.
To smile effortlessly at the faces of this world we live in.
Now everything is turning blue.

I have travelled to places that I have imagined only when my eyes are shut.
I guess we all travel to those places too. Yes. We are the same after all.

I was tired of putting things together. Then i realised I didn't have to.

I found out that I could be really good at something.
I found out I could be really bad at something too.
I made a choice. Bad can be good.

I then imagined a different future.
I still do. No more buts.

I was once the kid I am now.
Blue is just a colour and not a sensation from the ground.

Continue Reading