What It Feels Like To Be Overenthusiastic


Being enthusiastic is good. Its the normal energy level a human being possesses, but being overenthusiastic feels a lot like having an immense amount of energy that nobody else can relate to.

Overenthusiastic people have a lot of drive in them. They don't and won't sitstill, they find ways of always moving around. They want to get the most things done in one time. Sometimes impossible but they can actually prevail. Even the idea of a small break would sometimes be the most dreadful thing but otherwise very much needed.

The thing about being overenthusiastic is sometimes you are taken granted for the shitload of work you can actually complete. Sometimes your strongest trait can be a bad thing too. 

An overenthusiastic person doesn't think too much when it comes to action. We presume we have made all the judgements in our head and just go for it. Sometimes the spontaneous decisions are good and sometimes it leaves you in regret.

I think a lot of people are enthusiastic depending on the type of situation. 


But you can always make yourself overenthusiastic even if you don't have passion in what you do. Its called Will.

I was given a task that I knew nothing about. I had poor knowledge on the subject matter but that did not stop me from trying. Along the way as I found myself passionate and more open to learning, I discovered I became overethusiastic. There was a thirst for more. So i kept the momentum going.

I'm writing this article to tell you that it's okay to be overenthusiastic, to be always on time. To lack sleep and still have a lot of energy. Its okay to be called weird because you aren't normal, you are unique. 

It took me some time to understand why I am programmed the way I am. But then I realised, the upper hand of being overenthusiastic is it gives you that sense of fulfilment and satisfaction. It makes you realise what you are capable of and it makes you happy.

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I Still Think Of You

Today is a different day. It feels weird, like there is cold air waiting to disappear. I woke up feeling weary, like something was wrong. Then it hit me. Its unfair that we lose the people we hold close to our hearts. I feel life is unfair, but then life is life.

Honestly, I don't know how many years it's been since you left us. I never kept track because it all happened so fast but also because I prefer not to. Maybe three years, or four, I honestly don't know.

You were my greatest companion growing up as a kid. You and grandma of course. Both of you never failed to keep my tummy full and took me to school, church, family gatherings you name it. I couldn't of had a better childhood and all of us grandchildren, are indeed very lucky to have you both.

I remember you driving me to school in your Mercedes Benz, as you call it. You always looked smart and proper even if it was a short journey. Black pants, with a decent shirt always tucked in and your shiny black shoes which I remember you polishing some time ago. You always had black shades on, if not, your reading glasses and a copy of the daily newspaper.

During our drives to school you never spoke much in conversation. But you always made jokes along the way when we would come across pigs on a small farm or dogs running around the neighbourhood. You would comment on another person's bad driving and it would be so funny, I wouldn't stop laughing. I couldn't wait to go back home and tell my little brother, my mum, dad and my cousins all the jokes and remarks you made. You made everyone happy.

Nowadays, each time I go back to our house, I still feel you around. You somehow take care of us in spirit although I would like to see you for one last time.

The most prominent trait I remember, was the fact that you are always on time. You never made anyone wait, you never took time for granted.

In the end, I only hoped you had more time.

To see me graduate, to see me get a good job. That's what you told me. You told me to take care of Mum & Dad too.

I became a different person after you left. Emotionally lost and constantly seeking for you in every part of my day to day routines. I would sometimes find an old man that would have similar features as you, a girl and her grandfather crossing the road and sometimes I speak to you, when I need help or advice, when I need a friend.

I think its normal for people to go through this after a loss. Its sad. Many times I have caught myself crying because it would of been great to still have you around. The house is empty now, although Grandma is still around. Its empty because the liveliness of the house went away when you left.

I know you were in pain but I'm happy to know you are not suffering anymore. That you're in a better place, taking care of us from up above.

You were the light in my life and you will forever remain that light.

Happy Birthday Kung Kung (Grandpa)
I love you &
I still think of you. 

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Dear You, Love Me

Let's go to that place together, like the many times you have told me before. It was not long ago I held you in my arms. It was not long ago you were close. Sometimes these feelings overcome me and I am left with tears running down my cheeks. Left with only thoughts and hope. Hope for a better and more reasonable understanding of the world I have prepared in patterns and colours in front of me.

You took my hand and we escaped for awhile. It only lasted 3 minutes but to me, a moment that will remain in my memory, a lifetime. Sometimes it is in your silence that I hear you speak the most. It is times like this I hear how much the words you wish to say to me. But before you start saying anything, I already know. I know the words you muster up. It must have taken much practice beforehand. I will wait. No matter the distance or the songs that keep replaying by themselves over and over in my head.

I will soon caress your face with the gentleness and with the silentness of your love. For if time could stand still for just a while, that would be great, wouldn't it.

I will continue to fall into those eyes of yours that have casted a black whole in the midst of all I see. Soon, I will be able to be myself again with the person I am most comfortable. Till I see you again in another world or another phase of this earth that we live in, I will be sending all my kisses through the winds that blow through the frame of your body. I will be sending lots of them so wait. Wait for a moment before you leave the side of the road or turn the corner to your block. You might miss it. But fret not my love, our love runs wild like fire.

Hold me in the midst of your dreams and speak to me in the words you no longer say to me up front. Sometimes in distance we have grown to trust and love another half.

I shall meet you every night in the corner of my mind, in the warmth of my heart. As you go on your daily routines and I slumber upon the other side, I hope you feel me protecting you against harm, rain or shine. I feel you here with me. Right now as I am writing this. Carefully pondering over me like you always do and teasing the slightest way you adore. Take care my love.

Lots of love to you. Till we finally meet again.

xo
Mavinia

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You Will Feel Me

 

Maybe one day when you are alone, walking, you will feel me in the winds that howl your name.
You will look up to the clouds and see a delicate silhouette of the shape of my face or the paint of our mouths.
You will find the flowers by the road a distant memory of the bouquet of flowers that never reached me.
You will let yourself be bathed in the sun that reminds you of my golden skin brown.

Maybe one day when you are walking alone, you will feel me at a distance walking close.
Closer to the realms that hold you in motion of the world cast out in movement.
The clouds will cover all of the yellow sun and nothing will be left, just us and sound.
You will pick the flowers by the road and approach me gently with your heart in your hands covered in drops of petals.

You will let the rain drizzle upon us and then swallow us both like a whirlwind of hope.
To a place you and I subside, within the calamity of it all.

xo
Mavinia

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