When I was young I used to think how would it feel like to not exist.
How does it feel to lose everything you have one by one?
Its a scary feeling. It made me change how I lived my life, it made me a fragile heart.
I used to always wonder and I still do how is it that objects get their name. How is it a chair is called a chair and clouds are called clouds?
How is it that people who developed theories of the world had the words for them?
I was a child full of questions. Full of curiosity which I still have till today.
I started to be more connected to God at the ages of 9 till 14. I started praying everyday for God to protect my family, my parents and my brother. I had a fear of losing the people I love most. I became a child who was weary of the fact that the world is mean and harsh. Knowing I could not control certain circumstances and outcomes I relied in my prayers. God became my best friend.
I would like to believe in rebirths. It somehow overwhelms me with the thought that I was someone before this life and I will be someone after this life too. It overwhelms me more when I think if I will ever meet the people I meet present day in my next life. I always wonder.
It would be nice and truly a blessing wouldn't it?
To have my mum as my mum in my next life. To have my dad and my brother too. Wow.
A lot of thinking and wondering going on there. But yeah, It would be nice.
It gives me both fear and somehow a calming affect.
I would like to believe in forever. Because that way I can keep thinking and wondering. Making up stories in my head. If there were to be an end to all this what fun would that be then? I believe the most meaningful of life comes from what you make of it.
So yes. Forever.