It was lately that i let myself shatter into bits and pieces. Like how you let glass drop effortlessly on the ground. That was the state I was left in. Broken.
It was that evening I felt nothing but the warmth of the air surrounding me like a bubble. Caught only in its wrath. But just for a moment only, till the ground showered with snow like chills from the clouds. Rain.
It was also the other time I watched birds fly away from a tree. I pictured myself rid of freedom, memories and thoughts. My brain didn't let me though. The heart was its bodyguard that day. It still is. Mind.
It was never in my dreams to have come this far. To have stayed a little girl would be much better. But the cycle will never end. It will never stop either. By choice or by wants and needs. Never.
It was yesterday I grasped a tug of grass from the lands you cropped. Bountiful, but now empty. Like a void in space only decorated with tiny specks of stars visible a million miles away. Gone.
It was also the day before, that I escaped prison. The one where I was caged in a forbidden entry of delusion and hope. Now its me, my books and good sleep. Finally.
It was also a few hours ago, I felt that fuzzy feeling again. Moments when heat suddenly rushes across your face. Nothing explainable, only felt. First.
It is now, that I am feeling this unacceptable overwhelming emotion of some sorts. Its something about the smell of rain. It always is isn't it? The ability to recalculate every decision, every choice made. Finally, a second chance to be me.