Glass Door

I have stared out this glass door for most of the times you have left me mindless. I have stared out this rectangular shaped glass and stared up at the skies that have separated us for days now, maybe even months. I spoke to God countless times before I left myself dangling on countless threads that were drawn from your hands. I have felt tears that trickled down my cheeks in times of happiness, sadness but the most profound, the way my heart has cast a unanimous vote on you. I will forever be bound by the words I wish to one day hear from you. I will forever be hoping and waiting for the things that might or might not come.

This glass door is not only my window to the world outside, but also the mirror of my soul from halfway across the world. It has been my medium of connecting with you and other souls. I let some of the pieces get caught by the wind and washed away in the rain. I remember though, to hold you close when you are far, though at times, far is all I ever feel. I am afraid. I am fearful of the two who have joined and parted and will meet again in the distant that seems so near. I am fearful for love. I am fearful for your soul. I am fearful for the change of paths and a change of mind.

That glass door was what I held close to me. With it I became sort of a free bird able to liberate through glass and penetrate myself through skies, to the place where you lay humble at your side. It has been a long time hasn't it? Long enough to forget and maybe long enough to hold on more. I will always miss that glass door. This glass door for now, is me. My entrance to escape into another world and be accepted by a whole, all pure and divine in your arms. I will let go only if you want me to. But then I realise I am not capable of letting go, neither am I capable of holding on. Floating is what I will do from now on. Until you find me again within the clouds above, rain will pour on grass that shimmer and bath in the sun.

I think that glass door was there for a reason. After countless events and sorting of the mind, the heart and the soul. It was there for us. Bound not only by my words here, but also by the emotions and feelings that have absorbed deep within me. Embedded in my skin like blood perhaps. I feel this glass door has become a part of me and a part of you. If you ever find yourself lost, know I am lost too. In between the spectres of this glass door I shall lay. Till one day you come and cipher me away from my fragile heart. I will wait, like I said embedded like blood. It is you. It will always be you.

xo
Mavinia

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